Im totally lost, this time last year I had my targets and I was on track toward achieving them, now I'm going in circles sleeping eating working and going out.

I guess Finding new ways to fail isn't that easy any longer.

Right now I'm doing this job that pays great but is too simple and on the long run would kill my career not to mention that everyday I feel like I'm wasting my potential, wasting my god given gifts. Everyday I feel like I'm betraying my self and everything I used to stand for, but being such an easy job that pays so much I find it close to impossible for me to quit.

I often think about my university friends and how they are all doing their masters these days in England as a matter of fact most of the people I know are doing their masters, of course I failed miserably at that, I can't help to think how my career pales in comparison to theirs on the long run. Back when we were in the same class I used to be the first person to ask when they were stuck...and know I'm so far behind I can't find words to describe it.

I trust god and know for sure I'm only acting out his commands however and eventhough I'm trying I can't get my self to accept this fate without loathing my self.